FREE TO GOOD HOME – One Pound

location: London

Please help me, I need a new home.

People have been calling me worthless, not quite what I used to be. People don’t even like lending me much anymore. I’m tired of waiting round in car ashtrays, so I’m looking for a new home.

I used to be the strongest guy around and lately I’ve been getting beaten up by a guy called Euro. I think he’s Polish. There once was a time when I used to swing from pocket to purse and get tickled with joy, however with the smiles come lonely waits in between. I’m still straight although recently my image has been slightly tarnished.

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top secret

location: deepest space

last night i was on an undercover mission....top secret...

ponse

location: chessington

I LENT JESS FROM THE SWEET SHOP ON CHESSINGTON NORTH £60 WHEN I ASKED FOR IT BACK I GOT THREATENED, I'VE SINCE FOUND OUT SHE HAS PONSED 4 PENSIONERS PENSIONS, DAWN MORTAGE MONEY OF £185 FROM THE SWEET SHOP , AND THEY THREATENED HER IF SHE ASKED FOR HER MONEY BACK AGAIN. AND £200 FROM MY SONS FRIENDS MOTHER. TONIGHT HER AND HER LARGE DAUGHTER HAS THREATENED TO HURT MY DAUGHTER AND TERRIFIED HER. SHE IS 4FT NOTHING AND 13YEARS OLD. THEY ARE NOT BIG AND BRAVE, I URGE ANYONE WHO LIVES IN CHESSINGTON NOT TO LEND THESE PEOPLE MONEY. I HAVE CALLED THE POLICE. THEY ARE IMMORAL, PONSING BULLYS. DO NOT LEND ANY MONEY OR ANYTHING TO THESE PEOPLE BEWARE. JESS CHLOE SAMANTHA REMEMBER THEIR NAMES

it felt so nice

location: London

just lying in his arms. I've never felt more at peace :)

I want to tell all my work colleagues my weird middle name...

location: Richmond

BUT I'm afraid they will all laugh.