location: Argyle Street Station
Are you the mother with the 6 year old girl that I threw up on in Argyle Street Station? I feel really bad about this and would like to make amends. Also, did you see what happened to my shoe, its a blue one. I'm sure I had it when I was on the platform but when I was put off the train at Cambuslang for urinating on the doors I didnt have it. I hope you picked up the shoe. Email me.
Sunday
I need toilet paper
location: Portsmouth
I have just been to the loo and realised thre is no toilet paper!
I am now obviously stuck and my flatmates are away.
I do however have my laptop! So if there's anyone out there that can spare me some loo-roll then please pop it round, I'm not asking for a full roll just a few sheets will do.
Obviously time is an issue here, so the sooner the better
Thanks
I have just been to the loo and realised thre is no toilet paper!
I am now obviously stuck and my flatmates are away.
I do however have my laptop! So if there's anyone out there that can spare me some loo-roll then please pop it round, I'm not asking for a full roll just a few sheets will do.
Obviously time is an issue here, so the sooner the better
Thanks
Tuesday
Big fat man with massive boots
location: Edinburgh
Big fat man - you stepped on my foot getting off a no 21 bus at the bottom of Leith Walk on Wednesday morning. I'm in hospital. PLEASE get in touch so I can reward you appropriately for your actions.
Big fat man - you stepped on my foot getting off a no 21 bus at the bottom of Leith Walk on Wednesday morning. I'm in hospital. PLEASE get in touch so I can reward you appropriately for your actions.
Dodecahedrons!
location: whirlpoolgalaxy
In the bitter cold of the Russian winter in a small village……during a howling gale and darkness falling, a Russian peasant wandering home… sees a small game bird on the ground nearly dead from cold. The peasant picks up the bird and warms it…at that moment a herd of cattle come by and one of them drops a large dollop right in front of him. He puts the bird in the steaming dollop so that it will stay warm and fly away. A second peasant comes along and hears the bird chirping happily in the dollop…seizes it ,breaks its neck and takes it home for his supper.
This story has 4 morals.
1) Do not believe everybody who drops you in the shit is your enemy.
2) Do not believe everybody who gets you out of the shit is your friend.
3) Whenever you’re in the shit keep quiet about it.
4) I need a girlfriend.
In the bitter cold of the Russian winter in a small village……during a howling gale and darkness falling, a Russian peasant wandering home… sees a small game bird on the ground nearly dead from cold. The peasant picks up the bird and warms it…at that moment a herd of cattle come by and one of them drops a large dollop right in front of him. He puts the bird in the steaming dollop so that it will stay warm and fly away. A second peasant comes along and hears the bird chirping happily in the dollop…seizes it ,breaks its neck and takes it home for his supper.
This story has 4 morals.
1) Do not believe everybody who drops you in the shit is your enemy.
2) Do not believe everybody who gets you out of the shit is your friend.
3) Whenever you’re in the shit keep quiet about it.
4) I need a girlfriend.
I can't forget you
location: Outside Queens Hotel
Monday morning about 1045. I was the short brunette with the pink dress. You were the tall man with the brown hat and the yellow coat and wearing two different shoes.You'd forgotten your hanky and were wiping your nose on your sleeve. I think you had hurt your knee as you were rubbing it and stamping your foot. You were shouting something at me but I couldn't make it out cos your dentures had fallen out on the pavement and I was too scared to pick them up.
Don't know if you're from Dundee as I haven't seen you around before but I won't forget you.
Monday morning about 1045. I was the short brunette with the pink dress. You were the tall man with the brown hat and the yellow coat and wearing two different shoes.You'd forgotten your hanky and were wiping your nose on your sleeve. I think you had hurt your knee as you were rubbing it and stamping your foot. You were shouting something at me but I couldn't make it out cos your dentures had fallen out on the pavement and I was too scared to pick them up.
Don't know if you're from Dundee as I haven't seen you around before but I won't forget you.
Wednesday
Free Empty Volvic water bottle!!!!!
location: Middleton
Complete with label and lid, no holes only 1 day old.
No timewasters.
Complete with label and lid, no holes only 1 day old.
No timewasters.
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