location: shitsville
Hello.
I'm an amazing and really talented writer with loads of creativity and ideas, but obviously I shouldn't have to take the time to write it all down myself. I'm looking for another amazing and totally talented writer to write it for me. Ideally someone will provide with me most of a novel or book of poetry, and someone else should edit it, and a third person should be my agent. Although I'm a wildly published professional, there is no money in this for you; instead, I'll bask in your gratitude for doing the work for me. Alternatively, I could rewrite your CV for a tenner.
Saturday
Thursday
a good laugh
location: south nirvana
that was a good laugh at the coronet
sorry i smoked all your ciggies
i'll pay you back that fiver ASAP
that was a good laugh at the coronet
sorry i smoked all your ciggies
i'll pay you back that fiver ASAP
Friday
Oh My Good Gawd Almighty
location: This Planet Or Close
I Right, i worked my sorry arse off last year with a couple of decent gumtree jobs, made a nice stash o' cash, finished up in december, did what i had to do and then went on a mad one.
Woke up broke of course and so now it's time to settle my tab at the local beer shop, chuck out the needles, dump the pipe, put away the rolling machine (a lovely Latvian girl by the name of Irma) and go back to work.
Any offers ?
I admit that i'm wildly optimistic.
I Right, i worked my sorry arse off last year with a couple of decent gumtree jobs, made a nice stash o' cash, finished up in december, did what i had to do and then went on a mad one.
Woke up broke of course and so now it's time to settle my tab at the local beer shop, chuck out the needles, dump the pipe, put away the rolling machine (a lovely Latvian girl by the name of Irma) and go back to work.
Any offers ?
I admit that i'm wildly optimistic.
Wanted: Someone To Pay For My Wedding
location: London
My partner and i are very much in love and have booked a date for our wedding but finances are VERY tight. Is there anyone out there who wants to make a young couple very happy and pay for some of our wedding????
My partner and i are very much in love and have booked a date for our wedding but finances are VERY tight. Is there anyone out there who wants to make a young couple very happy and pay for some of our wedding????
Thursday
Clown Available For Funerals.
location: Dublin
This Is A Serious Advert!
Hi there,
We are Irelands premier funeral clown company. why not book a clown for a loved one.
We come fully prepared.
[follow the link to read the rest of this ad]
This Is A Serious Advert!
Hi there,
We are Irelands premier funeral clown company. why not book a clown for a loved one.
We come fully prepared.
[follow the link to read the rest of this ad]
I am worth it you savage
location: London
I have a confession to make. This may shock some, but may liberate others.
I am scottish and work in London. I work with racist people and they are homophobic aswell and they will have a go at me about anything i do, even my vegetarianism! It got too much for me and when I approached a respected team member about it he calle dme "Bravetart" and asked where my kilt was!
[...]
But I got another Job and am now leaving them. Little do they know that before I left I did a terrible thing. I gave myself a hand job in the toilets and put the white wee-wee in the coffee machine.
[follow the link to read the rest of this confession]
I have a confession to make. This may shock some, but may liberate others.
I am scottish and work in London. I work with racist people and they are homophobic aswell and they will have a go at me about anything i do, even my vegetarianism! It got too much for me and when I approached a respected team member about it he calle dme "Bravetart" and asked where my kilt was!
[...]
But I got another Job and am now leaving them. Little do they know that before I left I did a terrible thing. I gave myself a hand job in the toilets and put the white wee-wee in the coffee machine.
[follow the link to read the rest of this confession]
Wednesday
Black Princess wants new slave
location: London
I need a new slave my last one bored me!
Please apply and let me know why i should pick you
I need a new slave my last one bored me!
Please apply and let me know why i should pick you
Tuesday
i think i like being on the dole.
location: london
I had a high powered job for the past three years in the fashion industry and unfortunatley was made redundant,I worked so hard and had my eye on a more senior position but then crash bang recession hit, and I lost my job in september. Im 26,At first I was ok about it as I thought i will get another job, but after applying to more than 100 jobs I became very depressed and confused.But then something magical happened.
[...]
I think i dont want a job anymore,I joked the other day to my friend that i never want to work again and she laughed, but i was kind of serious.
[follow the link to read the rest of this confession]
I had a high powered job for the past three years in the fashion industry and unfortunatley was made redundant,I worked so hard and had my eye on a more senior position but then crash bang recession hit, and I lost my job in september. Im 26,At first I was ok about it as I thought i will get another job, but after applying to more than 100 jobs I became very depressed and confused.But then something magical happened.
[...]
I think i dont want a job anymore,I joked the other day to my friend that i never want to work again and she laughed, but i was kind of serious.
[follow the link to read the rest of this confession]
Midget wanted for stag do.
location: London
Hi I am looking to hire the services of a midget for the weekend in April. This idea is big in the U.S but I am struggling to find a good lead over here.
Drop me an email if you can help out with any ideas.
Cheers
Hi I am looking to hire the services of a midget for the weekend in April. This idea is big in the U.S but I am struggling to find a good lead over here.
Drop me an email if you can help out with any ideas.
Cheers
When i rule the world
location: in my own head
So I'm sitting here listening to coldplay viva la vida (great song btw) and I'm thinking what I would do if I ruled the world. Yeayea there's all the unselfishy things like end world hunger and world peace and make the poor rich and stuff. But what about other stuff??
I would get rid of all this technology crap about engineering babies and stuff cos I think it's wrong. What's next? Bringing back a dead body after it's been decomposing for 50 years?? LET NATURE TAKE ITS COURSE
[follow the link to read the rest of this rant]
So I'm sitting here listening to coldplay viva la vida (great song btw) and I'm thinking what I would do if I ruled the world. Yeayea there's all the unselfishy things like end world hunger and world peace and make the poor rich and stuff. But what about other stuff??
I would get rid of all this technology crap about engineering babies and stuff cos I think it's wrong. What's next? Bringing back a dead body after it's been decomposing for 50 years?? LET NATURE TAKE ITS COURSE
[follow the link to read the rest of this rant]
Monday
1000 word essay in exchange for Hmv vouchers
location: london
1000 words on a contemporary legal issue affecting uk society
before 30/01/09 midnight
1000 words on a contemporary legal issue affecting uk society
before 30/01/09 midnight
Sunday
Do you look like Boris Johnson?
location: London
Do you think you look like Boris Johnson, if so send us a photo!
If we like your photo (read: if we agree) we may come take your photo for a new photographic collection/ book.
Do you think you look like Boris Johnson, if so send us a photo!
If we like your photo (read: if we agree) we may come take your photo for a new photographic collection/ book.
Monday
girl,20yrs old needs £500 urgently will consider anything
location: northants
hi my name is jess im 20yrs old and i have just lost my job, and am finding it very hard to find a new one.
i need the money to pay my finance for my car before it gets taken off me. really need some help will consider anything hope to hear from someone soon
my mobile is 07xxxxxxxxx txt me anytime
hi my name is jess im 20yrs old and i have just lost my job, and am finding it very hard to find a new one.
i need the money to pay my finance for my car before it gets taken off me. really need some help will consider anything hope to hear from someone soon
my mobile is 07
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